Liverpool shot themselves in the balls so Arne Slot must pay; it’s how football works
Arne Slot, Ruben Amorim, Thomas Frank…they will all be thrown from the top-floor window of the Premier League’s gaudy, gold skyscraper of excess.
Johnny Nic
Boxing Day football is not like killing foxes; it’s a noble tradition
It’s not another symbol of Broken Britain but it is sad that there will be only one Premier League game on Boxing Day.
Remember: Decent football fans are still in the majority despite the toilet noise
Decent football fans are still the majority, even if the liars say we’re not just because they’re all shouting into a toilet on X and mistaking the echo for agreement. ...
Leeds United 3 Liverpool 3 a sign of a weak Premier League? Behave…
Leeds United’s 3-3 against Liverpool wasn’t an example of the weak league; it was just really enjoyable football.
Below the line? It’s so often below the basic standard of intelligence
Swearing and overt racism is filtered out of comments sections across the internet. But what about stupidity? Can we curtail that?
Watching Scotland qualify was like hallucinating a pornographic cartoon…
If you live in Scotland, you know how much the Scots have had to cling on to history. And now this team has created their own.
Interlull? There were 26 games across 12 platforms on Sunday; it’s too much
On Sunday, 26 games were broadcast across 12 platforms. It’s too much football and most of it requires a subscription or fee. The system is broken.
How much is too much money to spend for Premier League title?
You can’t win a beauty contest just by being the biggest spendthrift, as much as clubs labour under the delusion that they can.
Arsenal set-piece horror is confected nonsense of the terminally online
Actual football fans in stadiums love a long throw, a set-piece and a punt downfield. Do not listen to the snobs.
How Hearts are making Blooming waves as Old Firm flounder
With enough diversity to scare a hateful, bigoted, racist Reform politician, Hearts are using data to challenge Celtic.
Johnny rages against ‘misrepresentation’ and sympathises with Bellingham and Rashford over ‘outright lies’
Johnny Nic has the utmost sympathy for Marcus Rashford and Jude Bellingham living ‘inside a constant torrent of assumption, judgement and outright lies’.
England fans not behaving like insane headbangers is a plus, Tommy Tuchel
England fans being bored and quiet is probably preferable to the kind of mindless violence we have seen for decades.
Is crowd behaviour worse than ever? ‘Flare-up-bum was only the extreme end’ of ‘dysfunctional socialisation’
Crowd behaviour is in the pits across the board. The ‘hideous big-mouthed, frog-faced skid mark on the country’s underpants’ is at least partially to blame.
Bruno Fernandes was ‘broken on the back’ of VAR and ‘getting it right’
VAR has institutionalised ignorance and stupidity whilst selling itself as informed and clever. And it broke Bruno Fernandes on Saturday.
Russell Martin shows football clubs are often in the hands of fools
Quite why Russell Martin was appointed by Rangers in the first place is a mystery; he has been a predictable disaster.
Man Utd are ‘corrupting gas’ that ruins every player and manager
Manchester United are like a corrupting gas that all who breathe are brought low by. Every player, every signing, every manager.
Thomas Tuchel is trying to teach algebra to dogs…
There has been very little meat and a lot of gravy from Thomas Tuchel’s England so far.
Mikel Arteta ‘loser philosophy’ has left Arsenal with ‘perverse’ Anfield record
Arsenal need not be the ‘nearly’ side; without Mikel Arteta’s caution they could achieve more. So says John Nicholson, who is Not A Fan.
The Premier League reigns supreme in ‘the age of bullsh*t’
Get some perspective: Premier League oranges are not the only fruit. It’s just all hype and nonsense.
Man Utd mediocrity erodes interest; Ruben Amorim MUST deliver top six
Ruben Amorim is already in a battle to keep his job at Manchester United; they cannot finish outside the top six.
Premier League back ‘like a bull in a bathroom’ after Hibs classic
A week in football on TV ends with a classic between Hibs and Partizan Belgrade before the Premier League enters the arena.
Grealish ‘in the skip’ and ‘outlawed’ at Manchester City but Everton can embrace the 10/10 and 4/10 ‘maverick’
Manchester City paid a record fee for Jack Grealish before squashing his individuality due to fear. Everton can take advantage and harness the maverick.
Rangers ‘concern’ emerges as Scottish sides avoid Euro disaster ‘against Albanian tractor factory XI’
Scottish football has returned with determined Dundee United and a Rangers side motivated by Russell Martin but still wasteful flying the flag in Europe.
Let’s outlaw transfer fees and let Liverpool sign Alexander Isak for nothing on a one-year rolling contract
Loads of clubs outside the gilded Premier League have all but abandoned the idea of transfer fees out of practicality. Make one-year rolling deals the norm.
We must not let ‘festering, moron-for-money animal’ Barton and men’s game ruin ‘pure, wholesome version’
Johnny Nic is back on his diet of Scottish football but not before issuing a message to Joey Barton and those of his ilk: you cannot ruin women’s football.
Alexander Isak offer from Al-Hilal is evidence of ‘abusive relationship’
If you sell your trousers to yourself, that isn’t a market and you can’t pretend it is. Football is utterly screwed now.
Euro 2025 has platformed the true Beautiful Game – money and corporatism must not ruin women’s football
Euro 2025 has been a roaring success for a number of reasons but Johnny Nic is left praying that money and corporate greed cannot ruin what has been built.
Euro 2025 has shown the world what football can and should be
The men’s game has had a mirror held up to it by Euro 2025, with women’s football shunning violence and abuse without being short of aggression or edge.
England gut through for semi showdown with Italy and ‘full Tardelli’ with Euros punditry refreshingly good
Johnny Nic is enjoying the lack of cynicism and ego on show at Euro 2025, as well as pundits like Emma Hayes who underline the importance of tone.
Pre-season money jaunts killing the planet and the players
Premier League clubs are unconscionably taking a planet-breaking 175,000 summer air miles in just a few weeks. The greedy idiots.
Club World Cup exposed by Euros even if Chelsea get ‘more money to waste on half-assed tattooed talent’
The contrast between the Club World Cup and Euro 2025 is stark for Johnny Nic, who couldn’t care less whether Chelsea lift the gold toilet trophy.
Diogo Jota death teaches us to leave everything on the pitch
Live every day as if it’s a cup final, says John Nicholson, who came close to death himself and grieves for Diogo Jota.
Rethinking the Club World Cup, loving Jonathan Pearce and enjoying the Euros
John Nicholson is very much enjoying Jonathan Pearce and the start of the Women’s Euros, but a change of heart over the Club World Cup might be necessary.