‘Seismic boost’ to Arsenal hopes on Mbappe as Man Utd make a ‘U-turn’
There’s transfer nonsense and then there’s Kylian Mbappe to Arsenal, while Man Utd are making U-turns without even making a decision.
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Man Utd ‘could’ sign ‘England star’ for ‘cut-price £40m’ while Champions League ‘nightmare’ awaits
When is an England star not an England star? And when is a nightmare not a nightmare? Mediawatch finds itself pondering some philosophical quandaries today.
Man Utd ‘HIJACKED’ and ‘humiliated’ because they must be a banter club
One thing that must ALWAYS be true: Man Utd are a banter club. So the media pretends they have been pied by Kieran McKenna and hijacked by Chelsea…
Fernandes drops worst ‘QUIT’ hint ever as Manchester United manager candidate Pochettino dismissed
Bruno Fernandes has rocked Manchester United on the eve of the FA Cup final by definitely hinting he might ‘QUIT’ – and not that ‘I don’t want to leave’.
Chelsea apparently oblivious to Man Utd wanting Pochettino over McKenna or Frank
Chelsea are acting quickly to replace Mauricio Pochettino with Kieran McKenna to save them from a Man Utd hijack, while one man obsesses about semantics.
Liverpool go from preacher to borderland priest while exit swipes and shortlists follow Poch news
A lot of Chelsea content around today, to nobody’s great surprise, but the most ludicrous thing anyone has said is still about Liverpool because it nearly always is.
Arne Slot is a ‘borderland priest’ and loads cleverer than Erik ten Hag, so there
Arne Slot is the ‘borderland priest’ from Bergentheim, where his friends think he is cleverer than that other Dutchman that must be mentioned…
And now the media must pretend Pep is off and Arsenal ‘best is yet to come’
We know why, but there really is some absolute tosh being written about Pep Guardiola leaving Man City this summer while Arsenal are on the up…
Two hints that Bruno Fernandes is definitely leaving Manchester United as Rashford ‘adds fuel to the fire’
Bruno Fernandes is pretty much certain to leave Manchester United this summer after greeting supporters and receiving a message from Marcus Rashford.
Bruno Fernandes gives worst ‘transfer ultimatum’ ever as Man Utd coverage goes mental
Man Utd won a game of football on Wednesday night but obviously the headlines are all about Bruno Fernandes, Sir Jim Ratcliffe and Marcus Rashford.
Spurs fans would rather Arsenal didn’t win the league and that has blown some tiny minds
There’s a lot of dreadful pious bollocks from dreadful pious hacks about Spurs fans and we’re going to gobble it all down with grateful, gleeful gusto.
Why oh why don’t Man Utd fans want ‘collegiate’ king of ‘husbandry’ Gareth Southgate?
Trust the Mail to produce over 1000 words on why Gareth Southgate should be the new Man Utd manager without really mentioning football…
Look at Rasmus Hojlund trying to stop Bukayo Saka in ‘baffling tactical tweak’
Antony was incensed but at least he wasn’t clearly directed to stop Bukayo Saka like Man Utd striker Rasmus Hojlund. Silly Erik ten Hag.
Manchester United sent mixed messages by Antony as Kane’s ‘German nightmare’ is investigated
Antony ‘did not look happy’ coming into Manchester United training but was also laughing, all while an ‘Erik ten Hag succession plan’ was ‘left in tatters’
Harry Kane surprised by competence of Man Utd in non-existent transfer talks
Harry Kane expected Manchester United to overpay for him like they did Harry Maguire, it seems. In other news, he’s not a terrible footballer.
Man United legends SCARING off potential Ten Hag successors and other ‘job offer’ nonsense
The Manchester United job is just too scary, and it’s not even because of the fact they’re definitely selling all but three of their first-team squad.
Classy Moyes to QUIT in the summer as grubby West Ham find their kindred spirit
David Moyes is leaving West Ham, which is neither shocking nor controversial but he is very British indeed so there are double standards to maintain.